Yes exams r finally over so i finally got the computer back.... yea so i have returned again, funnier, radomer, jokier! Ok so there aint no such word but, you get the point
Actual School Excuse Notes
These are excuse notes from parents (with their original spelling) collected by schools from all over the country: 1) My son is under a doctor’s care and should not take P.E. today. Please execute him.
2) Please excuse Lisa for being absent. She was sick and I had her shot.
3) Dear School: Please exscuse John being absent on Jan. 28, 29,30, 31, 32, and also 33.
4) Please excuse Gloria from Jim today. She is administrating.
5) Please excuse Roland from P.E. for a few days. Yesterday he fell out of a tree and misplaced his hip.
6) John has been absent because he had two teeth taken out of his face.
7) Carlos was absent yesterday because he was playing football. He was hurt in the growing part.
8) Megan could not come to school today because she has been bothered by very close veins.
9) Chris will not be in school cus he has an acre in his side.
10) Please excuse Ray Friday from school. He has very loose vowels.
11) Please excuse Pedro from being absent yesterday. He had (diahre) (dyrea) (direathe) the runs. [words in ()’s were crossed out.]
12) Please excuse Burma, she has been sick and under the doctor.
13) Irving was absent yesterday because he missed his bust.
14) Please excuse Jimmy for being. It was his father’s fault.
15) I kept Billie home because she had to go Christmas shopping because I don’t know what size she wears.
16) Please excuse Jennifer for missing school yesterday. We forgot to get the Sunday paper off the porch, and when we found it Monday, we thought it was Sunday.
17) Sally won’t be in school a week from Friday. We have to attend her funeral.
18) My daughter was absent yesterday because she was tired. She spent a weekend with the Marines.
19) Please excuse Jason for being absent yesterday. He had a cold and could not breed well.
20) Please excuse Mary for being absent yesterday. She was in bed with gramps.
21) Maryann was absent December 11-16, because she had a fever, sore throat, headache and upset stomach. Her sister was also sick, fever and sore throat, her brother had a low grade fever and ached all over. I wasn’t the best either, sore throat and fever. There must be something going around, her father even got hot last night.
22) Please excuse little Jimmy for not being in school yesterday. His father is gone and I could not get him ready because I was in bed with the doctor
The Lazy Mens And The Lightbulbs
How many lazy mens are needed to change a lightbulb? 3. one to hold the lightbulb and the others to spin the ladder
Thursday, October 9, 2008
Friday, September 12, 2008
Cbox lolz
Well i finally got one put up... took me awhile to figure out how but yay! and thanks for the support that website will come in handy as well... now lets see what others i can think up.....
The three men on an island.
There was 3 men on an island and they came across a genie that will grant them one wish each. He asks the first man what he wants. The First man says. “I wish for a helicopter to get off this god forbidden island.” So the genie grants the wish. The second man says. “I wish for a bridge that goes to the other side, and will then vanish.” So the genie grants the wish. The third man thinks long and hard about his wish and he starts to get lonely. He says… “God I wish those guys were back here.”
Electric Train
A few days after Christmas, a mother was working in the kitchen listening to her young son playing with his new electric train in the living room. She heard the train stop and her son said, “All of you sons of bitches who want off, get the hell off now, cause this is the last stop! And all of you sons of bitches who are getting on, get your asses in the train, cause we’re going down the tracks.”
The mother went nuts and told her son, “We don’t use that kind of language in this house. Now I want you to go to your room and you are to stay there for TWO HOURS. When you come out, you may play with your train, but I want you to use nice language.”
Two hours later, the son comes out of the bedroom and resumes playing with his train. Soon the train stopped and the mother heard her son say, “All passengers who are disembarking from the train, please remember to take all of your belongings with you. We thank you for riding with us today and hope your trip was a pleasant one. We hope you will ride with us again soon.” She hears the little boy continue, “For those of you just boarding, we ask you to stow all of your hand luggage under your seat. Remember, there is no smoking on the train. We hope you will have a pleasant and relaxing journey with us today.”
As the mother began to smile, the child added, “For those of you who are pissed off about the TWO HOUR delay, please see the bitch in the kitchen.”
The three men on an island.
There was 3 men on an island and they came across a genie that will grant them one wish each. He asks the first man what he wants. The First man says. “I wish for a helicopter to get off this god forbidden island.” So the genie grants the wish. The second man says. “I wish for a bridge that goes to the other side, and will then vanish.” So the genie grants the wish. The third man thinks long and hard about his wish and he starts to get lonely. He says… “God I wish those guys were back here.”
Electric Train
A few days after Christmas, a mother was working in the kitchen listening to her young son playing with his new electric train in the living room. She heard the train stop and her son said, “All of you sons of bitches who want off, get the hell off now, cause this is the last stop! And all of you sons of bitches who are getting on, get your asses in the train, cause we’re going down the tracks.”
The mother went nuts and told her son, “We don’t use that kind of language in this house. Now I want you to go to your room and you are to stay there for TWO HOURS. When you come out, you may play with your train, but I want you to use nice language.”
Two hours later, the son comes out of the bedroom and resumes playing with his train. Soon the train stopped and the mother heard her son say, “All passengers who are disembarking from the train, please remember to take all of your belongings with you. We thank you for riding with us today and hope your trip was a pleasant one. We hope you will ride with us again soon.” She hears the little boy continue, “For those of you just boarding, we ask you to stow all of your hand luggage under your seat. Remember, there is no smoking on the train. We hope you will have a pleasant and relaxing journey with us today.”
As the mother began to smile, the child added, “For those of you who are pissed off about the TWO HOUR delay, please see the bitch in the kitchen.”
Wednesday, September 10, 2008
Today...Yay
Well i kinda have almost no comments left i'd rather make so.....yay its today...dont i dont know why its a yay.....anyway lets get on to the jokes and remember.........something!
It's Dark In Here
A woman takes a lover home during the day while her husband is at work. Her 9-year old son comes home unexpectedly, sees them, and hides in the bedroom cupboard. Then the woman’s husband also comes home. She puts her lover in the cupboard, not realising that the little boy is in there already.
The little boy says, ‘Dark in here.’ The man says, ‘Yes, it is.’ Boy – ‘I have a football.’ Man – ‘That’s nice.’ Boy – ‘Want to buy it?’ Man – ‘No, thanks.’ Boy – ‘My dad’s outside.’ Man – ‘OK, how much?’ Boy – ‘£250’
A few weeks later, it happens again that the boy and the lover are in the cupboard together…
Boy – ‘Dark in here.’ Man – ‘Yes, it is.’ Boy – ‘I have football boots.
The lover, remembering the last time, asks the boy, ‘How much?’ Boy – ‘£750’ Man – ‘Sold.’
A few days later, the boys father says to the boy, ‘Grab your boots and football, let’s go outside and have a game. The boy says, ‘I can’t, I sold my ball and boots.’ The father says, ‘What?! How much did you sell them for?’ Boy – ‘£1,000.’
The father says, ‘That’s terrible to overcharge your friends like that. That is far more than those two things cost. I’m going to take you to church and make you confess.’
They go to the church and the father makes the little boy sit in the confession booth and he closes the door.
The boy says, ‘Dark in here.’ The priest says, ‘Don’t start that shit again. You’re in my cupboard now.’
A Priest and a Bussiness Man
A priest & a businessman were playing golf, After playing several holes,the businessman’s game takes a turn 4 the worse. “Damn! I missed!” he swears, as his ball lands in a sand bunker. The priest is understandably shocked & astonishes the businessman, “Do not swear, my son. You will incur God’s Wrath.” The next time the businessman fails, however,he exclaims again,”Damn! I missed!” The priest gets very angry & scolds him severely: “My son, you place yourself in great jeopardy by your words!” But alas,as the businessman’s ball again fails to roll where he wants it to,he yells loudly: “Damn, I missed!” Suddenly a lightning bolt strikes from the clear sky & reduces the priest to a pile of smoldering ash & a booming voice from heaven shouts: “DAMN! I MISSED!”
It's Dark In Here
A woman takes a lover home during the day while her husband is at work. Her 9-year old son comes home unexpectedly, sees them, and hides in the bedroom cupboard. Then the woman’s husband also comes home. She puts her lover in the cupboard, not realising that the little boy is in there already.
The little boy says, ‘Dark in here.’ The man says, ‘Yes, it is.’ Boy – ‘I have a football.’ Man – ‘That’s nice.’ Boy – ‘Want to buy it?’ Man – ‘No, thanks.’ Boy – ‘My dad’s outside.’ Man – ‘OK, how much?’ Boy – ‘£250’
A few weeks later, it happens again that the boy and the lover are in the cupboard together…
Boy – ‘Dark in here.’ Man – ‘Yes, it is.’ Boy – ‘I have football boots.
The lover, remembering the last time, asks the boy, ‘How much?’ Boy – ‘£750’ Man – ‘Sold.’
A few days later, the boys father says to the boy, ‘Grab your boots and football, let’s go outside and have a game. The boy says, ‘I can’t, I sold my ball and boots.’ The father says, ‘What?! How much did you sell them for?’ Boy – ‘£1,000.’
The father says, ‘That’s terrible to overcharge your friends like that. That is far more than those two things cost. I’m going to take you to church and make you confess.’
They go to the church and the father makes the little boy sit in the confession booth and he closes the door.
The boy says, ‘Dark in here.’ The priest says, ‘Don’t start that shit again. You’re in my cupboard now.’
A Priest and a Bussiness Man
A priest & a businessman were playing golf, After playing several holes,the businessman’s game takes a turn 4 the worse. “Damn! I missed!” he swears, as his ball lands in a sand bunker. The priest is understandably shocked & astonishes the businessman, “Do not swear, my son. You will incur God’s Wrath.” The next time the businessman fails, however,he exclaims again,”Damn! I missed!” The priest gets very angry & scolds him severely: “My son, you place yourself in great jeopardy by your words!” But alas,as the businessman’s ball again fails to roll where he wants it to,he yells loudly: “Damn, I missed!” Suddenly a lightning bolt strikes from the clear sky & reduces the priest to a pile of smoldering ash & a booming voice from heaven shouts: “DAMN! I MISSED!”
Monday, September 8, 2008
I'm back after......... a long time.... yea lets go with that, well been busy and all but dont worry! I'm.... Back anyways got lots of new jokes for you guys
Bad Drivers
There’s a senior citizen driving on the highway. His wife calls him on his cell phone and in a worried voice says, ’’Herman, be careful! I just heard on the radio that there was a madman driving the wrong way on Route 280!’‘
Herman says, ’’I know, but there isn’t just one, there are hundreds!’‘
god will save me
*One day a man fell out of a boat and started to drowned.
A boat comes along, “Do you need any help.”
The man replies “no. god will save me.”
Another boat comes along.
“do you need any help”
“no. god will save me”
Another boat comes along.
“do you need any help”
“no. god will save me”
He finally drowns and goes to heaven.
He asks god “Why didn’t you save me?”
God says “I sent you 3 big boats you idiot!!
Bad Drivers
There’s a senior citizen driving on the highway. His wife calls him on his cell phone and in a worried voice says, ’’Herman, be careful! I just heard on the radio that there was a madman driving the wrong way on Route 280!’‘
Herman says, ’’I know, but there isn’t just one, there are hundreds!’‘
god will save me
*One day a man fell out of a boat and started to drowned.
A boat comes along, “Do you need any help.”
The man replies “no. god will save me.”
Another boat comes along.
“do you need any help”
“no. god will save me”
Another boat comes along.
“do you need any help”
“no. god will save me”
He finally drowns and goes to heaven.
He asks god “Why didn’t you save me?”
God says “I sent you 3 big boats you idiot!!
Friday, May 30, 2008
Haha lols
More jokes but instead of words, i'll use pictures now, after all, a pictures sepaks a thousand words, got hit by a bike today folks dont worry though i'm fine
Saturday, May 24, 2008
More jokes :p
Yes n i forgot something... to those who wish to help me improve this blog send an email to unknown.fighter@hotmail.com, who will in turn send the message to me so as to make sure i dont get spammed.....
THis joke was sent to me without a title,m hope you like it...
a man knocks on an other mans door at 2am in the morning its pooring down with rain the man in the house wakes up and opens the door the man outside says “can i have a push?” the man indoors says no!im not giving you a push its 2am the man indoors wife asked who was that the man indoors says some dude who wanted a push the wife syas , but would’nt it be realy nice if we broke down and someone gave us a push? the man indoor says well allright then he gets his chloths on and goes outside the man was gone he shouts “where are you?” the man outside shouts “im on the swings”
The chatroom
One day, a costumer entered a computers shop and starts talking with the salesman:
- Hello.
- Hello, do you have anything I can help you with?
- Well, I have a question about chatrooms.
- Please, continue.
- Yesterday, I entered a chatroom, and I saw some impressive stuff!!!
- What do you mean?
- Well, it’s a WAR out there!! You see, I just entered and my screen was full of messages!!
- Well, that’s called spam. It’s when someone sends a message 5 times in a row.
- I see. I saw some LOL’s too. What is it?
- Laughing out load.
- Why are you laughing at me??? I find it quite abusive that you are laughing my face, you know?
- No, I mean, Laughing out Load is…
- Stop that! I’m not liking it! I can call the police right now!
- That’s what LOL means!! L-a-u-g-h-i-n-g o-u-t l-o-a-d!! Do you understand now?
- Ah… OK, yes. Well, and what is a OMG? I saw lots there too.
- Well, OMG stands for Oh my God, wich…
- I don’t like how you talk to me, boy! Just because I’m not familiar with this computer terms, it doesn’t mean you can mock me, OK?
- That’s what it stands for!!!! That’s the meaning!!
- Ah sorry, I didn’t understood right away. That’s some funny stuff. I never though Internet was so complex!
- Well, Internet is big!
- Well, I even saw some WTF! What is that? An insect?
- What the fuck!
- LISTEN TO ME, BOY! I’ll leave this store right away, and I’ll call the police, and I hope you will be jailed! What a terrible person you are!
THis joke was sent to me without a title,m hope you like it...
a man knocks on an other mans door at 2am in the morning its pooring down with rain the man in the house wakes up and opens the door the man outside says “can i have a push?” the man indoors says no!im not giving you a push its 2am the man indoors wife asked who was that the man indoors says some dude who wanted a push the wife syas , but would’nt it be realy nice if we broke down and someone gave us a push? the man indoor says well allright then he gets his chloths on and goes outside the man was gone he shouts “where are you?” the man outside shouts “im on the swings”
The chatroom
One day, a costumer entered a computers shop and starts talking with the salesman:
- Hello.
- Hello, do you have anything I can help you with?
- Well, I have a question about chatrooms.
- Please, continue.
- Yesterday, I entered a chatroom, and I saw some impressive stuff!!!
- What do you mean?
- Well, it’s a WAR out there!! You see, I just entered and my screen was full of messages!!
- Well, that’s called spam. It’s when someone sends a message 5 times in a row.
- I see. I saw some LOL’s too. What is it?
- Laughing out load.
- Why are you laughing at me??? I find it quite abusive that you are laughing my face, you know?
- No, I mean, Laughing out Load is…
- Stop that! I’m not liking it! I can call the police right now!
- That’s what LOL means!! L-a-u-g-h-i-n-g o-u-t l-o-a-d!! Do you understand now?
- Ah… OK, yes. Well, and what is a OMG? I saw lots there too.
- Well, OMG stands for Oh my God, wich…
- I don’t like how you talk to me, boy! Just because I’m not familiar with this computer terms, it doesn’t mean you can mock me, OK?
- That’s what it stands for!!!! That’s the meaning!!
- Ah sorry, I didn’t understood right away. That’s some funny stuff. I never though Internet was so complex!
- Well, Internet is big!
- Well, I even saw some WTF! What is that? An insect?
- What the fuck!
- LISTEN TO ME, BOY! I’ll leave this store right away, and I’ll call the police, and I hope you will be jailed! What a terrible person you are!
School hols r here.....
as such i may be able to post more jokes than i have....may.....any ways if you have any ideas on how i can improve this blog email me
cinderblock
A womens first child gos up to her mom and asks, “mom, why did you name me daisy?”
The mom says,”Because when you were born, a daisy petal fell on your head.
The women’s second child asks her,”Mommy, why did you name me rose?”
The mom replied,” because when you were born, a rose petal fell on your head.
The lady’s third child yells incoherently
Then the mom yells back,” SHUT UP CINDERBLOCK
Excuse for not going to school
A mother walks up to her sons room, and wakes him up
SON: ’’But mum! i dont want to go to school today!’‘
MOTHER: ’’Okay then, give me two good reasons why you shouldnt go to school’‘
SON: ’’Well, because Kids hate me, and because teachers hate me!’‘
MOTHER: ’’Not good enough…’‘
SON: ’’Ok, you give me two GOOD reasons why i SHOULD go to school’‘
MOTHER: ’’One, because youre 45 years old, Two, because you are the principal’‘
cinderblock
A womens first child gos up to her mom and asks, “mom, why did you name me daisy?”
The mom says,”Because when you were born, a daisy petal fell on your head.
The women’s second child asks her,”Mommy, why did you name me rose?”
The mom replied,” because when you were born, a rose petal fell on your head.
The lady’s third child yells incoherently
Then the mom yells back,” SHUT UP CINDERBLOCK
Excuse for not going to school
A mother walks up to her sons room, and wakes him up
SON: ’’But mum! i dont want to go to school today!’‘
MOTHER: ’’Okay then, give me two good reasons why you shouldnt go to school’‘
SON: ’’Well, because Kids hate me, and because teachers hate me!’‘
MOTHER: ’’Not good enough…’‘
SON: ’’Ok, you give me two GOOD reasons why i SHOULD go to school’‘
MOTHER: ’’One, because youre 45 years old, Two, because you are the principal’‘
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