I'm back after......... a long time.... yea lets go with that, well been busy and all but dont worry! I'm.... Back anyways got lots of new jokes for you guys

Bad Drivers
There’s a senior citizen driving on the highway. His wife calls him on his cell phone and in a worried voice says, ’’Herman, be careful! I just heard on the radio that there was a madman driving the wrong way on Route 280!’‘
Herman says, ’’I know, but there isn’t just one, there are hundreds!’‘

god will save me
*One day a man fell out of a boat and started to drowned.
A boat comes along, “Do you need any help.”
The man replies “no. god will save me.”
Another boat comes along.
“do you need any help”
“no. god will save me”
Another boat comes along.
“do you need any help”
“no. god will save me”
He finally drowns and goes to heaven.
He asks god “Why didn’t you save me?”
God says “I sent you 3 big boats you idiot!!